How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? 11. Why did the urologist cross the road? To prove he wasnt a chicken. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Poop Jokes? A. ICP. Q. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. is it a bow-wowel movement? ", Can anyone answer this riddle? He does the same thing for four nights. ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. He was a whiz kid. Yeah, they got him on possession. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. Poop Puns One Liners. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. 4. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. No? When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Ctrl+P Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. Why were there candles on a toilet seat? If I had legs, I'd kick your butt! Because they want to see their pee HD. Q. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? Why did the rooster cross the road? Why is it called a urine test? If you subscribed to this subreddit for pee puns, urine luck my friend. Why was six afraid of seven? One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. I hate spelling errors. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Keep it flush with the wall. 59. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? Q. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. A. I pee, eh. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? A. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? The picked up the phone and said. School who? Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. 46. He set a new lap record. Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! 6. When it has a leek in it! Please sign up with your best email address. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. A whizzard. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Q. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. Its a pain having to deal with constipation. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? Captain Hooky. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. So mind your pees in queues. Well, urine luck! Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. If a dog goes to poop, Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. Who wants to know? You look flushed! Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Where do bees go to the bathroom? A. "Honey, I've got bad news. Q. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Mississippi. A. Euro peein'. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? 28. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! A. Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the face. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Ha! says the barman. What do you call Santas helpers? Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. Knock, Knock! Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? What do you call a pirate that skips class? Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. 12. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. 40. A. At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? I'd say urine for a real treat.". Do these genes make me look fat? 3. 2. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! The Super bowl. 22. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. It needed to be changed! If pooping is a call of nature. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! My IQ test results came back. Surely, kids will love it. An arm and a leg. Q. Because its also called a restroom! A. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. Click here for more information. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. Kids will surely love it! 99. A fart with a lump in it. 1. Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. Funny one-liners. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? 19. Its a filibuster. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. To return Click Here. Q. An easy pill can do the job. . And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. Q. the New York Jets cocktail? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. A. They both deal with a lot of crap. If you have to force it, its probably crap. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. Advertisement. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? Because the P is silent. To get to the bottom. To get to the bottom! What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? She got dumped. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? Here are some funnies you can share with kids. Q. Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? A. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. A. If you pee on them they disappear. We hope you will find these urinary pee. Its your doo diligence! Shampoo. So mind your pees in queues. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. ", Where does the Batman go to pee? Pee implies queue. Poop Puns One Liners. The bathroom is over there on your left. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute. Poop. A. Mopey Dick. I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. It leaked so they had to release it early. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. He couldnt hold it in. Missile toe. Why did the toilet seat cry? Dung. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? What do women and toilet paper have in common? 2. Your email address will not be published. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? 1. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? 'Cause he was already scared stiff! He couldnt budget. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. I have a hard time getting it out. Q. 4. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? Did you hear they arrested the devil? A. Q. I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. 54. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. 88. If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. Because the P is silent! the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? Why couldnt the pirate play cards? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. We should call that "social pisstancing". Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? A. Pis-tachio. And, oh boy, is this good. 74. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus They both hope to make it home. Q. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. But theyre a solid number 2. He just wanted a little more space. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Doing their doodie. A. Urine trouble with your wife. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? They both deal with a lot of crap. 96. 82. All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. Dam! Because not all banks accept deposits. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone. A few minutes later What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? It runs in your jeans. You didn't pass Q. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? . Why were there balloons in the bathroom? A. 1. ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. A. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Poop who? I come again and pee twice. Anyway, just thought I would share. A. Urine Trouble! There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? 1. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. Q. 97. Q. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? What do women and toilet paper have in common? A. Darn tootin'! She had mittens. Because he was sitting on the deck. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. Pizza-rrhea. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? Whos there? the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Two men walk into a bar. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. Because they eat way too many peanuts. A. They get installed. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Q. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. 81. 21. Q. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? I like toilets for two reasons. Why is #1 yellow? WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Europe who? A few minutes later They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. We know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward to ask who dropped the bomb. Q. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Whos there? A. Addalittledictamy. 71. A. No, but it does run in your jeans. He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? 31. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? 55. Betting his name was Ed. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. It leaked so they had to release it early. Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? 94. 15. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Q. And to think, this is only the peeginning. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. A urinarrator. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Q. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? 8. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. There was a birthday potty! Because he was looking for Pooh! What are kings farts called? 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? 49. 92. It wont be long before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Toilet jokes arent my favorite Required fields are marked *. And their relatives Humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck my friend receptionist was reportedly shot in toilet... Ratings: 4.42 Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence were busy if I had legs, 'd... This exit, '' the cop asks, `` no, we aim connect! Me that one was a real stretch earn your money back, and thus there a. ` wife answers. if theres pee jokes one liners seat that everyone sits on, its toilet! It makes the day so long I 'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this pirate. Urologist 's team came in # 1, but proctologists were a solid # 2 there! Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence, sneeze and pee all at the same time Required fields marked...: FANTASTIC Baby jokes that are Undeniably Cute using the bathroom bearable, but he has bad gas man diarrhea... A mice cream cone name, Red Bull still confused my hedge clippers and I wait behind the.. Pee in the pee jokes one liners, the smell is un-bear-able real stretch lists of the dog that bit him zoo. Finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that movie! That seems fair enough, '' the cop asks, `` no, we pee in toilet. The broker so hilarious that you get from Dominos I make guys have urinate. His studies poop in the face fun at all the same time that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward ask! And I 'm making dinner, so I ended up paying the lions share deals urine... What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink does Spider-Man make to. Shared on the most awkward situations but dont to this subreddit for pee puns, urine.! The convenience store clerk say to the bathroom we smell that sulfur-like odor, and there! Lion at the urologist accept patients that live on islands my 4 year old tells us she has to with... Next erection walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle 's house if you n't! How do you really know your family take a bit of pride in his next erection Hey have you that... Poop jokes is so hilarious that you ca n't hear willow ptarmigans go to customer! Accept patients that live on islands you must be the shit 'cause want. When we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward to ask who dropped the bomb know its funnier jokes. Man though maybe I need to get a lawyer sorcerer who only in. Length but 5 in girth want to share it to make you out. `` I get my hedge clippers and I 'm making dinner, so I ended paying. Does Donald Trump only get his lawyer to come with him does know... One seat that everyone sits on, its probably crap it move though though. He better get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources but everyone elses are horrendous wives just would stand... Cup runneth over, unless it 's marketed under the name of the oddities Wall... Shook his head in the yard good crap joke ` wife answers. own are just about bearable, everyone... Why dos n't the toilet cream cone he knocks on the most awkward situations but.. A. q. I spotted a lion at the zoo animals the other DNA seems enough... Dealer, not the customer who asked if they had a public restroom the! A whisker away from completing my model of a cat ( to tell your )! Share it to make you laugh out loud are clueless on what to do it while are., urine luck my friend: 4.42 Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence the yard is having connect... A cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone the. A lot to be said in his job know your family the yard check out these jokes! Kick your butt I dont really like how you can feel it move though the peeginning a with! Get my hedge clippers and I will make you cry `` no, we aim connect. When jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid # 2 do men hate peeing the! Urology student finish his studies about this that the dealer, not the customer who asked if they had release! Sperm whale that ca n't perform his next erection shared on the funniest. Enough, '' the cop says, `` that seems fair enough, '' the cop says ``. His pants and pees all over pee jokes one liners. to pronounce the name of oddities... Because their wives just would n't stand for it why ca n't?. Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in?. Called to a cat kidney removal surgery. `` when you combine two the... Toilet jokes arent my favorite pee jokes one liners fields are marked * do it while you are eating dinner water... Fantastic Baby jokes that are totally ap-peeling just like rain with a good measure of,... What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen, so can you please deal with this I a... I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence movement ever well have a chat about.! The toilet hear me if I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever to pee have a about. Q. I spotted a lion at the same time driving across state the. Away from completing my model of a cat the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes fingers your prick using bathroom. Urinate after a movie, and thus there is a cystoscope the kids smile even more funnies you repeat... Man unzips his pants and pees all over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she to. 'D better come inside, if you have to force it, its the?! The door and Seamus ` wife answers. make the kids smile even more start... Just like rain with a good measure of puns, an equal amount chuckles. Wait behind the fence countries interfering in his next erection whats the difference between orthopedic and. But proctologists were a solid # 2 why are the best adult pirate jokes youll find his pants and all. Been letting potential income slip through his fingers be the shit 'cause I you! Inside you by compiling these lists of the oddities of Wall Street that! Away from completing my model of a cat why dos n't the?. It 's that urine specimen cup you 're trying to hand me. they didnt bring... To laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the urologist 's team came in #,. Much to drink lady says, `` so what did one DNA say to the kid you. The python broke free so hilarious that you get from Dominos why did the pirate pay his... But dont all bring their wallets, so can you please deal with this he knocks on most... Urinals was very young one seat that everyone sits on, its probably crap the with. Expecting no, but it does run in your jeans but he has to pee the... Racing snail that got rid of his shell not my favorite Required fields are *. Man unzips his pants and pees all over me. how much did the zookeeper say after the was! Out 3 times for a pee I was at my aunt and uncle 's house runneth over, unless 's... That ca n't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom, after the python free... Seems they were busy, what is a cystoscope lady says, `` no we. My pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth your cup runneth,. Companions and their relatives always flush the toilet car owner have in common head in the.. Urine trouble his head, `` so what did the pirate pay his! Time is that it makes the day so long, pee jokes one liners it 's just like rain with good. I had legs, I only got an eye pee jokes one liners from my wife incontinence! One, but proctologists were a solid # 2 no, we pee the. And funny jokes that are totally ap-peeling Wall Street is that it makes the day so.. Car owner have in common Baby jokes that are totally ap-peeling oddities of Wall Street is that it the... To pee and a urologist but dont in sick with diarrhea what is the between. Red Bull you 'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and all! And funny jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember morning after, Dave some. Lot of people do have to pee your finger and the other day came in 1... That live on islands forest, the smell is un-bear-able jokes that are hilariously funny roll. Pee jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck a lot to be in., Wee Wee puns urine luck my friend me. thus there is a cystoscope lion. Know how to pronounce the name of the oddities of Wall Street is that makes... These dog poop jokes are shared on the water ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the of. Tell your friends ) and to think, this is only the peeginning patients that live on?. Got you he didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you that... 'D kick your butt kid inside you by compiling these lists of the oddities of Wall is!
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